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Many times when we would be seen together, people would look at us and whisper. It did my ego good, knowing they were probably envious of us.The subject of sex finally came up between Dot and I after we had a steamy petting session one night, on a rare date when she had a free evening from her part time boyfriends . This was a year after we were going steady.I awkwardly asked her to share and express our love sexually. She kissed me and let me know that she wanted me to come to our wedding bed a virgin - which I was, except for the affairs I had with my hands.I expressed my hunger for her and my desire to possess her. She let me know that I sounded like I saw her only as a sex object and not as the woman I loved. She made me think. I apologized, but told her it would be so nice for us to feel good together."In due time darling. I do love you very much, but I'm so afraid that if I give myself to you, you'll tire of me and leave me. That'd break my heart."I assured her I wouldn't. He had learned to keepreplacement stockings in his desk. Upon his return from his hurriedshopping spree he realized he had made a mistake. His new shoes werekilling him. If he had to guess they were causing blisters on his feet.He was in his office and could feel the tell-tale tightening in his chest,fear roiling in his stomach. He reached for his purse, grabbed theprescription bottle, tapped out a single white pill - downing it with agulp of cold coffee. He stood, straightened his blouse, and buttoned upthe accompanying jacket. As the pill started to take effect, he caughthis reflection in the glass of his office door and a chill ran down hisback. He thought 'he could be looking at a secretary in any fashionableoffice'. A sense of calm ran through him. As an undercover man whoselife depended on looking like a convincing woman on a day to day basis, hewasn't happy with his appearance. It may have been the pills talkingeffect but for once he felt a momentary sense of pride.
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